If you’re beginning IVF or supporting someone who is, you’re probably overwhelmed with questions, big and small. I know I was. Even with a solid medical team and hundreds of hours of research under my belt, nothing prepared me for the rollercoaster of fertility treatment. After multiple cycles, hundreds of injections, and more emotional whiplash than I ever thought possible, I’ve learned a lot– often the hard way. In this post, I’m answering the most common IVF questions I see asked time and time again. From the practical (like what medications to expect) to the emotional (how to handle pregnancy announcements when you’re grieving), you’ll find honest, real-life insight from someone who’s been there. So, whether you’re just starting your fertility journey or somewhere in the messy middle, I hope these IVF FAQs help you feel more prepared and less alone.

IVF FAQs: General IVF Process

What is IVF and how does it work?

IVF, or in vitro fertilization, is an assisted reproductive technology (ART) used to help individuals or couples conceive. The process involves stimulating the ovaries to produce multiple eggs, retrieving those eggs, fertilizing them with sperm in a lab, and then transferring one or more resulting embryos into the uterus. If implantation is successful, pregnancy follows. IVF can also involve additional steps like genetic testing (PGT-A or PGT-M), embryo freezing, or the use of donor eggs or sperm.

How much does IVF really cost– and is it covered by insurance?

I’m not going to sugarcoat this… IVF is expensive. On average, a single cycle can cost anywhere from $12,000 to $20,000 in the US, not including medications, testing, or freezing and storage fees. Medications alone can add anywhere from $2,500 to $10,000 per cycle– the lower end representing women who respond well to minimal stimulation and the higher end representing women who require maximum dosages for success.

Also, some insurance plans offer partial or full coverage, but many (I might even say most) don’t. It’s worth checking your plan and state laws, as some states mandate partial fertility coverage. Missouri doesn’t, and since we have marketplace insurance, virtually nothing was covered. 

Are there ways to save money on IVF without insurance?

Yes. While IVF is expensive, there are a few ways to reduce costs if you’re paying out of pocket. Some fertility clinics offer multi-cycle packages at a discounted rate. These allow you to prepay for two or three IVF cycles at a lower per-cycle cost. The tradeoff? You may end up paying for more cycles than you actually need. Still, for many couples the peace of mind is worth it.

Medication is another area where you can potentially save. Fertility drug costs vary widely, and many pharmaceutical companies offer discount programs or rebates. While the savings typically range from 5–10%, every little bit helps. I also highly recommend calling multiple specialty pharmacies to compare pricing. Some medications can cost hundreds less depending on the provider.

You can also explore secondhand medication exchanges in vetted Facebook groups like IVF Garage Sale. Just be cautious and always confirm expiration dates and proper storage before purchasing.

How long does an IVF cycle take from start to finish?

It depends on your protocol and personal response to medication, but a typical IVF cycle takes about 6-8 weeks from the start of ovarian stimulation to the embryo transfer. If you’re doing a frozen embryo transfer (FET), add a few more weeks for scheduling and lining preparation.

Does an egg retrieval hurt? 

The procedure itself doesn’t hurt at all. You’re under anesthesia the entire time. In fact, I always tell Kyle that the few seconds before the anesthesia kicked in were my favorite. My nerves disappeared, and I woke up to kind nurses, a warm blanket, and Kyle telling me how many eggs we retrieved.

That said, you’ll likely feel some discomfort afterward– cramping, bloating, and pressure are all common. For me, rest, a little Miralax (to help with post-anesthesia constipation), and indulging in all the snacks I’d been avoiding during stims made a big difference. Most people start feeling back to normal within a few days.

How many embryos do you usually get from one cycle?

Attrition rates are high, so it’s important to have realistic expectations. You might retrieve 10-15 eggs but only a portion will fertilize, grow into blastocysts, and pass genetic testing (if you choose to test). It’s not uncommon to end up with 1-3 viable embryos per cycle– or, in our case, none at all.

What happens if IVF doesn’t work the first time?

Assuming you have the all-clear from your clinic, you try again. If you want to, that is. Some people need multiple retrievals or transfers. Others pause or choose to explore alternative paths like egg donation, surrogacy, or adoption. There’s no “right” choice– just what feels right for you.

What do you wish you did differently during your IVF journey?

Looking back, there are two big things I wish I’d done differently. First, I wish we had started with a top-tier fertility clinic from the beginning. Our case was particularly complex, and instead of going straight to a renowned clinic with a strong lab, we completed two cycles at a mid-tier clinic with poor lab outcomes. I genuinely loved my doctor, but both cycles were ultimately unsuccessful. Had we been steered toward a higher-caliber clinic earlier, I believe we could’ve avoided a lot of emotional and physical heartbreak.

Second, I wish I’d advocated for myself more, especially during my second cycle. I had this persistent gut feeling that something wasn’t right with my protocol, but I muffled that inner voice instead of airing my concerns. I told myself to trust the process, trust the clinic, trust the plan. But deep down, I knew we needed to make adjustments.

Sure enough, when we eventually consulted with a new clinic, their recommended care plan included nearly every change I had been too afraid to ask for. It was validating but also incredibly frustrating. If I had spoken up sooner, we might’ve avoided yet another failed cycle. So seriously… speak up. IVF is too demanding, too emotional, and far too expensive to sit silently on the sidelines of your own care.

IVF FAQs: Medications & Side Effects

What medications are used during IVF?

It depends on your protocol. Most commonly, you’ll be prescribed a combination of:

• • Gonadotropins (e.g., Follistim, Gonal-F, Menopur) to stimulate egg production
  • GnRH agonists or antagonists (e.g., Lupron, Ganirelix) to prevent premature ovulation
  • hCG or trigger shot to finalize egg maturation
  • Progesterone (in oil, suppository, or capsule form) to support the uterine lining before and after transfer

How do I give myself the injections? And do they hurt?

I had a full-blown panic attack before my first injection. I started crying and told Kyle I couldn’t do it. He reminded me to breathe, we counted to three… and I immediately said, “Wait, that was it?!” To my surprise, it didn’t hurt at all. Turns out thoroughly icing the injection site beforehand really does work! Granted, not all injections are that painless. Gonal-F was a breeze, but Menopur and Ganirelix stung quite a bit. The pain is fleeting and manageable, but they were my least favorite.

As for how to actually give yourself the injections, your clinic should walk you through the process in detail. But when you get home and inevitably forget everything (like I did), don’t panic. Watch YouTube tutorials, check patient forums, or even reach out to your nurse again. It gets easier with time, I promise.

I also recommend asking your partner to help. Kyle did most of mine, and honestly, it made the whole experience feel more manageable and more like a team effort. It gave him a way to participate in a process that’s otherwise incredibly one-sided, and it gave me the space to focus on icing and breathing, not poking.

How do you manage side effects and hormonal swings?

I gave myself lots of grace and prepared the people around me. Hormonal swings are real. Let your partner, friends, or coworkers know what you’re going through (if you’re comfortable). And don’t be afraid to rest more, cry more, or set boundaries when needed.

Did you try alternative therapies like acupuncture, supplements, etc?

Yes, all of the above. I did acupuncture, red light therapy, fertility teas, and all the supplements under the sun. I also did 3 rounds of ovarian PRP. Unfortunately, most of the evidence surrounding these therapies is anecdotal, but I wanted to do everything in my power to better my chances.

Note: I always recommend checking with your IVF care team before adding anything new, since some treatments can negatively affect an upcoming cycle.

IVF FAQs: Emotional & Mental Health

How do you cope with the emotional rollercoaster of IVF?

Just try to remember that every day is a new day. Some will be harder than others. Lean into your support system, take breaks from social media, cuddle your fur babies, and talk to a therapist if you can. Journaling, mild cardio, and even saying “no” to social events helped me more than I expected.

How did IVF affect your marriage?

I want to start out by saying that I’m more grateful for and in love with Kyle now than I’ve ever been. But infertility took our relationship for a ride, y’all. You need to be prepared for that. There are plenty of well-known statistics about divorce rates following the death of a child, but what rarely gets acknowledged is the strain multiple failed IVF cycles (retrievals, transfers, chemical pregnancies, or just the endless waiting) can put on a relationship. Grief, stress, disappointment, and physical exhaustion pile up, and if you’re not communicating openly, that emotional weight can start to chip away at your connection.

That’s why I highly recommend seeing an infertility counselor or therapist– preferably someone who works with couples. It’s not just about venting or talking through feelings. It’s about making sure both partners feel heard, supported, and like you’re still on the same team. Communication is everything during this process, especially when everything else feels out of your control.

How do you handle friends’ and family’s pregnancy announcements?

This was tough for me. The amount of times I Googled “am I a bad person for not being happy about xyz” would shock you. And if you’ve found yourself doing the same, please know that you’re not alone– and you’re definitely not a bad person.

Pregnancy announcements, especially from people you love, can feel incredibly triggering when you’re in the middle of IVF or processing a failed cycle. You can be happy for them and devastated for yourself. You can love your best friend or sister-in-law and still feel completely gutted when they share their good news. Those two emotions can coexist, even if it doesn’t feel like they should.

My advice? Feel your feelings. Unapologetically. You are not obligated to be happy for anyone else while you’re grieving. It’s okay to mute social media accounts. It’s okay to skip the baby shower. Give yourself space until you can process things on your own timeline. If you’re close with the person, you can be honest. A simple message like, “I love you and I’m so happy for you, but I’m in a hard place right now and may need a little space,” can go a long way. The people who love you will understand.

So, in conclusion, give yourself grace. Protect your peace. You’re not selfish for putting your emotional wellbeing first. You’re human.

How do you talk to people who don’t understand infertility?

Kyle and I have quite a bit of experience with this, unfortunately. What I’ve learned is that most people aren’t trying to upset you– they just truly don’t understand. They haven’t lived it, and chances are they haven’t done the emotional or educational work to try. That doesn’t make insensitive comments okay, but recognizing the ignorance behind them can help you decide how (or if) you want to respond.

Also, if someone says something that feels hurtful or dismissive, it’s completely okay to set boundaries. You can gently say, “This is a really personal topic for me, and I’m not comfortable talking about it right now.” Or, if someone crosses a line, don’t be afraid to shut down the conversation entirely. Two of the most effective responses I’ve found are, “What did you hope to accomplish by saying that?” and, “I’m surprised you felt comfortable saying that.” You’d be amazed how quickly they stop people in their tracks.

Infertility is already hard enough. You don’t have to keep explaining or defending your experience to people who aren’t willing to listen with compassion.

What should I say (or not say) to someone going through IVF?

I touch on this in my IVF Gift Guide, but the short answer is this: skip the assumptions and avoid the platitudes. Well-meaning phrases like “You can always adopt!” or “It’ll happen when you stop trying!” can feel invalidating and dismissive, even if they come from a place of love. Infertility is incredibly personal and complex, and no one wants their pain brushed aside with a silver lining they didn’t ask for.

Instead, lead with compassion and empathy. Acknowledge what they’re going through with something as simple and supportive as: “This is unbelievably hard, and I’m so sorry you’re going through it. I’m here for you.” If you’d like more specific examples of what to say and what not to say, this article is a great place to start.

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IVF is one of the most challenging (and courageous) paths you can walk. It’s not just physically demanding; it’s emotionally exhausting and financially draining, too. But you are not alone. And you’re not doing it wrong, even if it feels impossibly hard.

I hope these IVF FAQs helped answer some of your lingering questions or validate your experience in some small way. If I’ve left anything out, please let me know in the comments, and I’ll gladly supplement this post. Thanks so much for reading, y’all!