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Women don’t get enough credit for masking the complications and intricacies of intimate apparel. From wardrobe malfunctions to dress code violations to looking like a girlboss in lingerie, certain rules must (or should) be followed. In many professional environments, unapologetic breaking any of the unwritten commandments of intimate apparel can be detrimental to your reputation– both professionally and personally, so to help clarify what’s appropriate and what’s not once and for all, I’ve listed the ten commandments of intimate apparel, as well as a brief explanation of their significance. I’ve also included a Gleam giveaway widget at the bottom of this post, and I’m giving away one $50 Kohl’s gift card to one of y’all! Underwear for all!
Commandment 1: Thou shall know thou’s measurements.
The first thing a woman should do before buying a bra is get fitted, ie measured by a professional, and getting fitted once isn’t going to cut it; as your body weight changes, your bra size will, too. Find your perfect fit here (and use code INTIMATES10 to receive $10 off of $40 at Kohl’s), and research which styles and brands work best for your body type!
Commandment 2: Thou shall own a nude bra.
Every girl should own at least one, if not several, nude bra. I’m not one to routinely splurge on intimates, but this is the most valuable piece of lingerie you’ll ever own. You can wear it underneath anything, even sheer white, and if the straps are convertible, you could live off of this one bra style alone– although I’m a girly girl who enjoys lace and sparkles, so I’m not suggesting you actually do.
My nude bra of choice, which abides by Commandment 2, 3, 5, 8, and 9, is the Warner’s ‘”This Is Not a Bra” Full-Coverage Strapless Convertible Bra. It’s basically the most comfortable strapless I’ve ever worn, and its detachable straps create multiple wardrobe options, including strapless (duh), standard, criss-cross, and halter.
Commandment 3: Bra straps shall not be accessories.
The key here is to own a convertible bra, like the aforementioned Warner’s “This Is Not a Bra” Full-Coverage Strapless Convertible Bra. Nothing screams “teenager” more than red bra straps poking out of an ill-fitting dress during a job interview. If you’re in a jam and only have one non-convertible bra at your disposal, invest in some inexpensive bra converter clips. They’re super cheap and can be thrown in your bag(s), car, locker, etc. for emergencies. Elsewise, cross your fingers that you won’t see any of your business colleagues in public, unless you work at Hollister.
Commandment 4: Thou shall wear boy shorts under flouncy skirts or loose dresses.
The “Oops, I’m flashing everyone around me” mishap is only endearing when Marilyn Monroe does it. If you’re wearing a loose dress or flouncy skirt, wear cute, comfy, and protective boyshorts underneath, like these adorable 3 for $24 panties from Kohl’s, as a general precaution.
Commandment 5: Thou shall not publicly display thou’s intimate apparel.
I know we all loved Britney Spears’ thong-over-the-jeans motif in her I’m a Slave 4 U music video, but that was the 90s, and again, it was only cool when she did it. Case-in-point, Christina Aguilera tried it with a pair of leather chaps a few months later, and it was de classe. Intimates are intended to be reserved for intimate situations. I’m going to be completely honest– I clean my house in mine; they’re the comfiest things I own! Just don’t wear them in public.
Commandment 6: Thou shall not purchase cheap shapewear.
If you’re insecure about a little extra junk here and there, shapewear can become your instant BFF. Without any effort at all, they can shape waists, flatten tummies, and smooth silhouettes. However, in doing so, these products can be downright uncomfortable; don’t punish yourself by wearing cheap shapewear. From my pageant days, I can attest that they’re incredibly painful and can oftentimes draw even more attention to your “problem” areas. Don’t fool yourself; everyone sees that conspicuous seam line protruding from your clothing.
Also, be wary of the fact that a high price tag doesn’t necessarily reflect its level of comfort. Research customer reviews and try it on before purchasing the product, if possible. My go-to brand is ASSETS Red Hot Label by Spanx, which are just as awesome as regular Spanx– but for half the price tag.
Commandment 7: Thou shall invest in sticky tape.
Sticky tape is another must-have for any woman who isn’t afraid to flaunt what she’s got. Wearing a bra just doesn’t make sense for some outfits, so a sure-fire solution to controlling peek-a-boos is sticky tape. It’s a little painful to get off, but trust me, it far outweighs the embarrassment of flashing a room of strangers.
Also, if you still feel uncomfortable with just the sticky tape alone, try self-adhesive nipple concealers. You can find samples of both in the amazing Hollywood Fashion Secrets Stylette Kit.
Commandment 8: Thou shall value quality and quantity.
It’s simple math, y’all. The more bras and panties you have, and the better quality they are, the less often you’ll have to replace them.
Commandment 9: Thou shall not overpay for intimate apparel.
Piggybacking off Commandment 9, don’t over pay for your intimates. There’s no need when you can easily find your perfect pair at Kohl’s. From no panty line to wedgie-free, hipsters to thongs, you’ll see styles and solutions for every body type– at such jaw-dropping prices.
PS: Don’t forget to use code INTIMATES10 to get $10 off of $40!
Commandment 10: Thou shall prepare for the worst.
Ever since those cute little Minimergency Kits hit the scene, I don’t leave the house without my Secret Stylette Kit. It’s become my date night and GNO security blanket. The Secret Stylette Kit prevents beauty blunders and wardrobe malfunctions, and all ten of its contents easily fit inside your bag or clutch. It comes with six fashion tape strips (refer to Commandment 7), one bra converting clip (refer to Commandment 3), one deodorant-removing sponge, one pair of self-adhesive nipple concealers (refer again to Commandment 3), one pair of garment shields, two pre-filled swabs of make-up corrector and remover, thirty lint removing sheets, one leather wipe, and one stain wipe.
And now for the giveaway! Giveaway is live now and will end Sunday, March 20th at midnight. Winner will be announced within 48 hours of contest end.
Good luck, y’all! Happy Sunday!
Thank you, Kohl’s, for sponsoring this post! All opinions are my own.